(Review Completed) [SP] Bloody Business

[Cheetah]

Information
Version: 1.00
Author: Cheetah
Type: SP
Size: ~2.5 MB
Length: 15 minutes
Addons: none.
Requirements: ArmA - v1.08

Mission Summary
Locals smell trouble, we want trouble and the SLA will get in trouble. Get in, contact the locals and assassinate Major Cordoba.

Download
Location 1

Comments
I'd like to get feedback on the mission, intro, overview and briefing parts of the mission to improve it and iron out any bugs.

Thanks for your interest, have fun!

[firecontrol]

Heya Cheetah,

As I am dog tired, I didn't complete the mission, even if it is a short one. I did some preliminary testing and will update when I finish.


ArmA v1.08 (Orig. 1.06 Atari), Veteran mode, ModWar sound mod.

Some typos:
Intro: "cratching" => "scratching"
Cutscene with first contact: Remove the "us" in the "An ammo convoy is moving toward us Mercallilo..." bit.

Package

Who could ask for more.


Overview

A nice overview. Just personal taste, but the picture seems to dominate a little.


Intro

A humorous little intro, I liked it. It has a hard time when loading textures such that I see the "pointy faced" SLA troops (low-res textures) for most of the end part. camPreloaded should solve that?


Mission

I like the life of the town, much going on. It feels lived in. I hopped in a red car and found some interesting info. Went off to meet the contact, and was offered a weapon. Cutscene was informative. Next stop, the car dealer. I'm not too sure what was going on here, I know he wants me to kill a policeman, and I've seen said officer driving around, but I'm under the impression that there is a car which I can take which has explosives? Or is that only after I kill the policeman? The titletexts went by a little fast.... maybe add this as an objective so the slow folks like myself can refer back to it?

Here is where I had to stop for a bit, as the SLA troops walking down the road shot me (I assume since I had a pistol on me.) How would they know I had a pistol, anyway? Hehehe. I was in a car.


I'll update tomorrow after work once I get a good night's sleep in.
I like it so far though, Cheetah!

[Rellikki]

Package
The package is good. Readme has everything it needs and it's easy to read.

Overview
Overview is fine. Doesn't need changing. Interesting picture...

Intro
Well first off, the music was way too loud, and my speakers and sound settings were normal, just like they're
always when I play. The quality of the music wasn't best either... :S Otherwise it was kinda... funny, I guess.
To be honest, I didn't have much idea what was going on though.

Briefing
The briefing is fine. Didn't notice any spelling mistakes.

Mission
I had a few searches around the mission to see if there was anything that could help me to complete the mission
"properly". Didn't find anything, so I decided to complete the mission in an easy way. I took the makarov from
the contact's house, hid behind the bush in front of the house and waited for the major to arrive. Once he did,
I jumped out of the bush and shot him death. Then I ran straight to the south to the farm house. I had to shot
two SLA guys on the way.

Debriefing
Some hidden objective got revealed here, "Talk to the car dealer". So there must have been an other way to complete
the mission I think. Completed the mission with 2 infantry kills + the major. Duration 13 minutes.

Outro
Kinda funny...

Summary
I liked it. Even though it was a bit too easy, I still liked it. I've always wanted to make an undercover mission
like this too, in fact. You should give player more hints about the contacts' whereabouts because I couldn't find
anything. Other than that, it seemed kinda cool... so far.

[edit by judge] Project Beta Approved +1

[Dash5]

Package
Everything is in order here.

Overview
Looks good.

Intro
I think the music is fine. Just one spelling mistake that's already been mentioned.

Briefing
Fine.

Mission
I didn't have any trouble finding the first contact or the car salesman part.

First contact: Perhaps setPos the weapons crate level with the floor, or better yet, create actual pistol with ammo on the floor.

Car salesman: setUnitPos "UP"; for car salesman, seems he was prone for the first bit of the cutscene. After I talked to the car salesman, it's not clear which car is rigged. Maybe I missed it, but in any case I think I took the wrong one, because when I activated the bomb, I heard a distant explosion in the direction of the car dealership...oops! Least I didn't get whacked by the car salesmen mafia.

I found a UAZ+DShKM to be quite useful in completing the rest of the mission. Actually, I was pretty much invincible because the AI wouldn't shoot at me in the UAZ.

Duration: 18 min. Kill Stats: 2x Officer, 9x Rifleman, Machinegunner, Ural, UAZ

Outro
Nice camerawork, but at the last second it cuts to third person view.

Summary
It's a nice mission. I don't think it was too easy, especially running around with just a pistol in the first part.

Project Beta Approved

[MrN]

Regular, V1.08 FDFSounds, Trueview Mod

Overview:
Good

Intro:Briefing:
All good.

Mission:Outro:
Neat.

Camera ends a bit sharp and could do with a blackout before the cam is destroyed. Also, the bike rider was a split second away from crashing into the fence.

Conclusion:Project Beta Approved

[mathias_eichinger]

Hi Cheetah!

Funny little mission that you have here!

Package

Was just right, the readme was good.

Overview

Hm, the picture did not tell me much, but the text was hilarious...quite some troubles here.

Intro

Very funny as well, but I have to say that the quality of music was horrible. Have not heard something  as ear-piercing lately.

Mission

I headed straight to my contact, acquiring the pistol and watching a nice little cutscene. Then I thought that a Kalashnikov would be handy, so I tried to steal one from the police station, but without success. My next try led me to ambush a policecar which worked out and I grabbed an MG. Waited in the bushes by the contact and managed to kill both UAZ and the general. Then I legged back to the farmhouse, killing 2 enemy troops on my way. Mission ended there and then came the

Outro

Which was very funny as well.

Conclusion

The mission could be a bit harder, but it is a nice change to all the rock-hard, multi-objective missions out there. The only thing I am almost begging for would be a change of music in the intro.

Cheers

Mathias

Project Beta Approved

[Cheetah]

Thanks Mathias!

Hmm... think that I am going to remove a few of the magazines at the first contact's place. Everyone seems to do it the fast violent way hehe.

There are so many ways to assassinate the major 

[Denz]

Package
A readme, a copy of the picture from the overview along with the all important mission file.

Overview
Picture is ok, though I did like the text. "Locals smell trouble, we want trouble and the SLA will get in trouble"

Intro
The intro has a good dose of humour thrown in and the music (I think that was what it was) is rather loud but otherwise it's fine.
typo: "Cratching" > scratching

Briefing
Good, outlines the mission nicely. I do like missions with a story to them and thought the backdrop of Bloody Business to be well structured.
typo: "know" > known

Mission
I knew that time was on a tight schedule so I began running around trying to find a vehicle I could use. Managed to find one that wasn't locked and drove to the first contact. The scene handled by a cutscene filled me in on the expected convoy and gave me first gun. On my way to the car dealer I came across a small SLA patrol in the middle of the road so with an evil laugh I ploughed into them, the one that flew over my bonnet I noticed had a PKM so I stopped and swiped his weapon and carried on my way. The car dealer in the time honoured tradition of video games wouldn't help me unless I did something for him first. I take the rigged sedan back into town and find the little piggy driving around in a land rover which as you can imagine was no problem for my PKM. Could have done with a message here to say objective complete as I wasn't sure at first whether I'd killed the right one. I block the road with the sedan and wait for the Major to show up, who promptly dies in a huge fireball. Another evil laugh!

Outro
Some humour here too. The camera could do with fading out rather than just cut.

Summary
I liked this undercover operator approach. I think abit more difficulty is in order but otherwise a decent mission

BETA PROJECT APPROVED

[DarkAngel]

Package

Works for me - readme, .pbo and promo picture all work fine.

Intro

Wow, that music...nice. The two SLA guards telling each other off is really good though. One thing - I don't really get how the guy being given the lift relates to the SLA guard. Is it meant to be the same guy? Could we maybe see him getting "changed" - could do this by the civ going into a building/tent then having an SLA guy with the same face coming out of it - might make this clearer. Note Denz's typo. Otherwise all good, looking forward to the voices!

Briefing

All clear, except is Yukov Cordoba? Am assuming so.
Notes section "It's know because of the execution" etc does not make grammatical sense. I wasn't sure if you meant that the mission is because of the execution (so you could say something like "it's in retaliation for the execution") or that the town is *known* for the execution.
"They were executed *for* stealing weapons" would be tighter English.
No weapons! Ouch! There's a setup - I'm already intrigued by this mission. Small thought - it might be worth mentioning, perhaps in the notes section, that you're going in unarmed. Some players - myself included - sometimes tend to forget to check the gear selection screen and they might not want a nasty surprise!

Mission

I check my watch - 15 minutes till the Major's supposed to turn up. Best get moving.
I stroll North to the road junction where there are two civs. I wander up to them and get in their faces but not much happens - they ain't scared of me! I head east along the road to where there are two more silent, still civs.
I keep heading east towards the contact, passing a farmer on a tractor doing his thing.
Hook up with the contact and take the gun. Text for "heading towards us Mercaillo" or whatever it is - you only need to put either the name of the town or "us" - both together is unnecessary.
I head back towards the police station and use my pistol to shoot the gunner on the UAZ outside. I take out the driver with my last round, then use the MG on the UAZ to waste a squad of SLA outside the police station. No-one returns fire - think you might need to do something about this. I get out and stroll down to the police station, picking up an AK on the way. When I get to the police station there are two riflemen outside it and I get shot, reloading to just before picking up the AK.
- This time I sneak round behind the police station to the North side and toss in a grenade. It kills all three surviving SLA although I get injured as the UAZ explodes.
- Check the watch. 5 minutes till the target arrives. I hide in the old barn at the end of the police station complex. Moments later the Major turns up. I waste him but one of his bodyguards kills me. Reload.
This time I try to be clever. I get back in my UAZ and kill the Major and all his bodyguards with the PK. The Major gets one shot off at me this time, but it doesn't help him. Then I drive south to the farm as quick as I can, and crash into a tree, and die. What an idiot I am.
This time I take no chances, and drive slowly and carefully to the farm. With my UAZs machine gun I've taken out some civilians as well as the major, but I don't feel too guilty about that...
I drive to the farmhouse but the mission doesn't end. I definitely killed an officer...but was it the right officer? I check my watch. Five to seven. Maybe it wasn't him. I drive back to the town and double-check the officer is dead. Decide to wait a few minutes and see what happens.
- Five past seven. No sign of our friend. I head along the road to Bagango on foot, meet a four-man patrol and kill them quickly with my AK. A bit further up I come to a farmstead with some people by an open Ural. Looking through the binoculars I see the truck is full of SLA troops. I chuck grenades at them, but some of them jump out and kill me. Reload.
-Again I kill the officer with the UAZ machine gun. This time, the objective ticks off - can't understand why it didn't last time. I drive to the farmhouse.
- I get "Mission completed" come up, and the mission ends with a score of -4900 points. Must have been the civilians I guess. There's a failed objective saying talk to the car dealer here, which wasn't revealed during the mission. Good to have some options during the mission (I'm assuming it would have come up if I hadn't taken the gun, or if I'd had a different conversation) but it might be better for that objective to stay hidden at the end.

Outro

A very cool outro with my character doing some Rambo stuff on the "Boom Boom Boys". It'd be nice to know who those guys are, and why they're trying to kill me, but doesn't matter that much I guess!

Summary

I really enjoyed this mission although it wasn't the most challenging ever. Particularly once I was sitting in the UAZ, it was a pretty simple matter to mow down anything that moved with my machine gun. Having said that it's an unusual, quirky idea which makes it fun. I wondered if it might be fun to have the civilians talk to you as you move around, maybe saying good morning or something like "who are you, we've not seen you round here before?" - so that maybe there's a risk that they might call the SLA on you, even if you don't have a gun. Otherwise a fun, interesting mission. Nice one! 



Project Beta Approved

[LeeHunt]

Project Beta test of Cheetah’s Bloody Business

Overview

Maybe a picture of the player driving off on his motorcyle at the end instead? 


Briefing

Overall good, maybe give more information about the town, the law against carrying firearms, the danger of going near the police station, stuff locals would know?  I echo other tester's comments on grammar/spelling.  But my english isn't always so hot and I grew up in America! 

Intro

The joking around was funny and I like that you have a simple but clever mission with a local town feel.  I agree with the other betatester, the part with the guards and the player dropped off wasn’t exactly clear—that could be worked on a bit.

Mission

I went to meet the contact, picked up the pistol and went down the road.  Found the car dealer and that brought up a hidden objective as it did for another betatester.  Minor thing to be fixed but easily doable.  I guessed the police officer was the green uniformed officer in the police car but I did not see him nearby, so I waited for the major.  I made a roadblock using the car dealer’s vehicles but then he shot me, lol.  OK, so I reload and try another way.  I’m enjoying this town with the tractors and cars going by, nice to enjoy the serene landscape of the poor but beautiful Sahrani town. I also liked how you change the town name from Mercantilo to Mercalillo, I need to de-PBO and figure that one out! 

Next reload I tried to break into the police station but the SLA guys there shot me, I guess by a trigger that activates within a certain distance of the center of the police area.  Reload again, this time I steal a car from downtown (this is where I find the car dealer hint, map and Makarov magazine) and run over one of the guards!  He didn’t see that coming in the intro. I grab his AK and start picking off SLA, I run into the upstairs barn at the police station and lure a few more in. By then the convoy and major are nearby so I sneak out and finish them off (though they killed me a couple times I admit).  Nobody left so I head for the farmhouse and Mission Completed J.

I really missed sound though, this mission was quiet.  Not only voiceovers but just local sounds, placing cow objects all along the sides of the roads and farmhouse could be one addition, for example.  Music at a house too.  Dialogue trigger/sound object as well by the two civilians facing each other.

Outro
I did like the outro where the player fends off the car dealer thugs, however I never met the car dealer in this reload so I would not have known what was going on, that also may need to be addressed.  Maybe the "F-bomb barbeque" lines could be edited for PG-13 status?  But it was cool and the player drives off nicely in his motorcycle. 

Conclusion

This mission was new and different—while I enjoy Black Ops/Conventional War missions it was fun to try something else and Cheetah has provided that with Bloody Business, or “Violent life in a small town.”  With some minor improvements and sound this mission could be even more fun.

Project Beta Approved

[smoke52]

package
 

intro
i liked the intro. there is still a spelling error: cratching = scratching

also instead of
"Visited so and so", put "I visited..."
"lets go there together" put "Lets go there"
"cut that!..." maybe say "cut that out!...." or "stop that!...."

last suggestion is when the guy is let out of the truck he should be beside the passenger side door not hidden behind the bush.

briefing
one spelling error already mentioned in the NOTES section. the rest was informative enough.

mission
i started off looking around town. ambient sounds would be good to add. and hopped into the red car because im too lazy to walk and found the secret objective to go see the car dealer. so i went to my first contact and picked up the gun. started driving towards the car dealer and was killed by the 4 sla troops walking up and down the road. reloaded and this time went straight to the dealer. missed what car had the bomb in it, so i took one of the red cars and drove to town to get the gun. i ended up wasting too much time and the officer made it to the police station where i was gunned down after running him over...hehehe

next reload i went to the car dealer and he said the sedan was rigged so i took that car, but nothing came up to give me the option to blow up the car. i thought maybe i have to kill the cop driving around in the truck first, so i did and went to the car dealer who promptly killed me. maybe when the objective completes you should have a new section for the player to click that refreshes their memory and gives a little more detail of what to do with the sedan and police officer. im not sure what to do at the moment...do i kill the police officer with the sedan? or do i kill the police officer to get the sedan?

next reload i went to the car dealer again grabbed the sedan, couldnt figure out how to blow it so i killed some sla solidiers, killed the cop, then killed the officer and ran to the end.

this time i finally figured out how to blow the carbomb with the radio...i keep forgetting to check those things. i would recommend mentioning it somewhere like when the car dealer tells you about it or in the extra notes section if you make one.

finished with all objectives complete. with 22500 points.
kills:
2xofficer
2xriflemen
machinegunner
2xpolice car

played it one last time and got the car. this time i blew up the officer with the car when he was near the barracks. i parked near the gate at first hoping he would walk through there but he didnt so i had to quickly get the car and drive up next to where he was heading. killed him and ran to the farm.

outro

liked the outro aswell, could use a fade to black at the end.

summary

a little more tweaking and its pretty much finished... of course voices would be nice for the cinematic parts and i would have to agree with the others suggestions for the mission about mission ambient sounds/difficulty level.

BETA PROJECT APPROVED

[Tyger]

Hey smoke52, why don't you reformat your last post using the instructions here and you can compete in Project Beta?

[Gielovic]

Package
Was good, perhaps you could rename the image..not img.jpg

Overview
Clear overview, nice text if you ask me and a good pic.

Briefing
The briefing is very clear to me. You tried to give the mission some more background which workes, you know why the man has to be killed. I think this mission would easily fit in a campaign.
The notes section is good, perhaps you can try to make it a handwriting-font (i don't know how...didn't got that to work myself:S). The last sentence isn't clear to me: I have to get through Corazol and then make way to Mer... I didn't see Corazol during the mission. I think you mean that you're coming from the south, but right now i thought i had to fight my way up north.

Intro
The intro was funny, but the quality of the music is very low. It could be a nice background music-piece, but right know it was ruining the intro a bit as i had to turn the volume down to almost 0. Don't know if it's my pc+arma which does this or it's just a messed up .ogg. I also had some problems with the pointy heads when first seeing the SLA-troops, however this isn't something you can totally take care of i think.

Mission
I started the mission, as everybody else, empty-handed. I too tried to make such a mission and I didn't find a way to hide your gun, so i don't care to much about going into a mission without a gun. But in reality it would be a silly think to do. I contacted the contact and got my gun. I was hiding in a toolshed as a first UAZ passes by, i shot the driver and moved further east where a 4-man patrol was. Shot them too and got myself a AK74. The UAZ+MG wasn't to difficult too handle from inside a building to i shot the driver and gunner and made it my own. From that point the mission was a bit too easy. The major passed me unnoticed because when i attacked the police station, suddenly the 2nd objective ticks of while i shot someone from a great distance. Driving back wasn't too dangerous where i ended the mission with 13 kills and 2 cars shot.
I liked the idea but the mission is somewhat too easy (perhaps because i found out about the hidden objective once i completed the mission).
I have some tips in the conclusion

Outro
The outro was funny and a good end of the mission. Liked the drive-away action on the motorcycle.
The camera is switching to 3rd person view last half of a second, you might black-out somewhat earlier.

Conclusion
A nice short mission. Didn't found bugs along the road. I have some tips though.
- When you shoot some SLA, say the first driver in the UAZ, the SLA reacts on that because they expect him to come, so some   patrols in the village (which are aware) would be an idea.
- Also it would be a nice thing if you have to hide the bodies because else the Major isn't coming if some SLA-soldier sees a   dead body.
- I would have loved to start with some explosives to blow up the whole police station (could ruine the idea of a undercover   operation, so this is not really a tip )
If you're able to make it a bit harder this is a good mission with a really great atmoshpere.

Love to see a new release, and sorry for my bad english;D

Project Beta Approved

[Cheetah]

Thanks to all who've tested the mission! Good to see that you all liked it, sorry for it being so easy.

I'm surprised to see that you all follow objectives strictly, always pick up the Makarov and no one (forgive me if I'm wrong) has taken a look at the weapons truck. Guess that the easy escape invited you all for the playstyle.

Glad to see that not all the surprises /easter eggs have been found. Thanks for all the comments, will improve the mission and post a newer and probably / hopefully harder mission .

NOTE: the mission is supposed to be playable in many ways. The next version will have more info for players on this, to guide you a bit through the mission.

[LCD]

heres another beta 2 try 2 win against Denz... in da meantime i encourge denz 2 get a job or mebe go nd review my mision... or somin (joking d00d  ur doin realy good job beta testing so much  )

yeah beta resaults...

Overview

 

Intro

u got a typo... every1 noted it... cratching = scractching....

Brief

1) u say in da briefing Yukov nd u never mentioned dat da major is called Yukov b4...
2) mebe add a small bio of da major w/ picture ?

Mision

1) playin on regular dif... after i get da pistol nd check da map... I apear in red (enemy of myself ?  ) nd da enemies apear in green ? i think u shud probably change da mision.SQM 2 have da player on da west side nd den set him 2 captive or somin...
2) mebe dere shud b an option 2 holster da gun ?
3) da contact marks convoy on map.... but da markers r kinda far from da city... so i had 2 go n look 4 em...
4) in da notes u say some pp got arrested (or was it shot ) 4 stealing weapons from police station... so went dere lookin 4 weapons (not meetin my contact) mebe u cud put some ?
5) da convoy has some problems when tryin 2 get in da police station... try 2 clear da road dere from civies nd stuff...
6) i shot out couple of soldiers nd took deir weapons... den i killed every enemy in da mision (or atleas da convoy soldiers nd da soldiers in police station) nd none of em tryied really 2 kill me... u shud work on their reactions...
7) same thing w/ civies... dey shud run away or do somin 1ce I start da masacre...
after i finished da mision.... a car dealer objective apears nd mark as failed... shudnt dere b ny hints 4 me 2 meat him 1st ?
9) score was negative nd i didnt kill no civies... but it did mark all my kills as friendly units

Outro

u shud black ouyt b4 terminating da camera

summary

its fun but i can say honestly dat in da 1st 2 tries i got kinda lost... takin da weapon nd den having 10 mins of nothin 2 do... never been da 1 2 wait 4 ppl... i just went carzy nd got shot while runin around trin 2 figure out whats now....

LCD OUT

Project Beta Approved