Yeah.. when you edit the 3d model you just adjust a few items to make the game think it is using the flaps.
Thats how IkaR's f14 tomcat works to sweep the wings, and how I guess Colorchanger's tornado would have worked if they could have released the sweep wing version as well (It doesnt work with stores under the wings as they end up pointing outwards).
In relation to the position of refueling, it does work!!
It seems to work off the 'Geometry' of the model.
The reason I had to get so close to the plane to refuel before was because Capt Moore didnt include the tail assembly in the geomety (most likely to avoid it hitting the ground when you take off too steep). So you had to get close to the main fuselage.
Then you add the arm out the back and you have plenty of room!
It does look a little dodgy when your refueling quite a distance from the arm but you could tweak it a bit to make it look more real.