(Review Completed) [SP] Stop At Everon

[Cheetah]

Information
Version: 1.00
Author: Cheetah
Type: SP
Size: ~4.5 MB
Length: 20 minutes
Addons: RAE_sandbagFix (included)
Requirements: ArmA - v1.08

Mission Summary
Evil, bloody Royalists await doom as proud Red Armies move in to cover them with dust, fog and blood at Everon.
All because of a single man - not obeying orders and deserting the Liberation Army.

Credits
- thanks to baddo for his trench script!
- thanks to raedor for the sandbag fix!
- thanks to the editing center (www.ofpec.com) for all the help
- thanks to Denz, Bardosy and Hoz for voice acting!
- and of course, to Rellikki, LCD, firecontrol, mathias_eichinger, Denz, bardosy, gielovic and Lee for Beta Testing

Download
Location 1
Location 2

Thanks for your interest, have fun!

[LeeHunt]

Downloading it now and will give it a go this weekend...

[Rellikki]

Package
It has all it needs in my opinion. Contact details and everything in the readme. I wouldn't have minded if you included
the addon in the package too, since it's so small addon.

Overview
The overview is fine. Doesn't need any changing in my opinion.

Intro
The intro was pretty exciting. The only thing that bothered me was the abbreviation of captain. I think it's supposed
to be Cpt. instead of Capt.. Also, a music fading at the end would be good too.

Briefing
The briefing is fine. Didn't notice any spelling mistakes. Interesting information on the Mission Details and the
characters, but I think you should add a link back to Mission Details from the character pages.

Mission
We advanced to the town from the hill in the west. Friendly armor cleared most of the defence line so we didn't
have any problems going through it. I kept getting this weird radio message several times while advancing: "GUER
1-1-C:1". Once we were in the town, we shot several enemy personnel from the hilltop and then we advanced in the
town itself. I saw some barricaded place in front of a house and I guessed the colonel was there. Didn't took long
until I killed him. Mission completed.

Debriefing
Nothing wrong here. Completed the mission with 10 infantry kills + the colonel. Duration 5 minutes.

Outro
The outro is fine. You can get the actual player's name with some command, so you can display it in the last sentence.
I think it's titleText Format ["Player's name is %1","Plain down", name player]

Summary
To be honest, I was excepting a bit longer story, with more tense and some horrible secrets of the Red Liberation
Army, or something like that, but it doesn't mean that I don't like this mission. It's a fine, simple attacking
mission, but you should make the defences more stronger. I didn't have any casualties when going in and I completed
it on the first try in 5 minutes. Nice job, anyway.

[edit by judge]

Project Beta Approved +1

[LCD]

package

 

overview

 

intro

1) da cam dat follows da deserter... is too shaky... dere must b a way 2 make a flowing camera....
2) da conversation between 2 soldiers... it doesnt feel like dey talk 2 each oder both lookin same direction and cam cuts between
3) u shud probably fade da music out at end of intro

briefing

1) i dont think (but who knows me not bein english) dat "As are now" is a logical expresion (in da mision details)

mision

1) u have (like rellikki) comented strange radio msgs floodin da player sayin "1-1-C:1" and "1-1-C:2" and so on
2) u shud probably give calsings 2 da units dat talk w/ each oder (specialy dat dere is 1 dat changes da comnader of da op)
3) u shud probably make da soldiers get out of da jeeps (rienforcments 2 royalists) if da driver is dead... or even if da jeep is under fire b4 their get out pos
4) dere is another especas soldier runin around dat is not in my squad... not a bug but im not sure u wants especas dat r not w/ players group
5) mebe u cud switch 1 of da especas in da players group w/ medic ? cud b useful
6) da MGs register as enemies even after da gunners die... u shud change dat

Outro

1) da curect syntax 4 wat rellikki saied is

titleText [Format["Player's name is %1", name player],"plain down"]

also not dat in da intro/outro u cant use dat but deres a work around... u have 2 have a player unit, give it a name (Punit for example) and use

titleText [Format["Player's name is %1", name Punit],"plain down"]

dat wil work

LCD OUT

Project Beta Approved

[Cheetah]

Thanks for playing it guys. Will start working on fixing bugs and maybe even adding stuff after my vacation  .

[firecontrol]

ArmA v1.08, Orig: 1.06 Atari D/L, Cadet Mode, ModWar Sound Mod.

Package

Good. Maybe name the pic something else, like SAE.jpg or StopAtEveron.jpg?


Overview

Good. Nice lead-in... I like the added intrigue of "All because of a single man."


Intro

Eerie. Nice angles... I like it. Voiceovers would help here. That jerky camera following the defecting Officer is a little odd though. I think it had to do with all the tree branches that were in the line of sight.

Also, maybe just me... but I didn't think that the music was the most suiting for the atmosphere you had going.


Briefing

In mission details: "As (they) are now cooperating..."
Under Gen. Coolarov's section: expandable -> expendable

Good briefing. Nice use of map markers to illustrate the plan. No weapon selection, I prefer a standard AK over the AK-SU version myself. Good info here on the characters.


Mission

Allright, a combined arms assault... one of my favorite types! I really like how you set up all the sandbag walls. We moved off around the northwest side to try and flank while the main assault came in from the south of Everon. Ran into an M113 coming over a hill in the distance and had to beat feet back toward the "main entrance." This worked nicely since we had a good view along the sides of the sandbags and could easily mow down the troops that were giving our main assault a hard time.

As mentioned above, there is some weird chat going on about unit names. After tossing a couple grenades over the wall into the area that the defector was in, my squad moved in from a couple different openings and had no problem wasting them. It took a while to actually find the guy, he was hidden quite well. I walked past him a few times before seeing him on the map eventually. In the ending radio chatter the player said "Yes, comrade General." twice in a row.

Mission complete, 11 minutes, 3200 score.


Debriefing

Works.


Outro

A little hard for me to figure out what was going on.. something about the wife of who? I think there may have been some evilness going on here, but I'm bad with names so I didn't connect the dots. Probably not your problem, I'm just dense today! Hehehe.

Also, the "Thanks to: yourname? for Beta Testing..." thing which was pointed out above as well.


Summary

A fun, action packed mission. I like what you've done here. I would agree that you may need to make it a little more challenging. Perhaps some mines near the entrance, to get rid of the overpowering armor?

Or, for some atmosphere: On the way in maybe have one of the tanks explode with a voiceover from the friendly commander saying "Minefield! Keep your distance from the tanks!" or something?

I enjoyed the mission a lot, some good polish (not Polish ) can be applied. Good work again Cheetah.  I like your missions.

PROJECT BETA APPROVED

[mathias_eichinger]

And here's another review....

Package

Has all a package should have, e.g. Readme and PromoPic.

Overview

I really liked the combat-themed picture, and the text was intriguing the player of what would go on.

Intro

Reminds me a bit of "Blair witch project", it was a very creepy atmosphere. I liked the way the officer made his escape trough the fog, only closely passing by the civilians. The music was also great and enjoyable. The chat between the officer and the spec op was also great.

Briefing

Hmm, a weapons selection would have been good, but it is very extensive otherwise and tells a lot of story.

Mission

Wow, a large combined assault on a fortified enemy position. That was really impressive. As the enemy at the sandbags was overwhelmed, the mission became very easy because of the ever-present own tanks. They really blasted away any resistance, and the few remaining soldiers were dealt with by my men. I must  admit that I ran around a bit confused until I realised that I had not checked the few houses in the northwest of Everon. When I entered the residence, it was obvious that this house was somewhat special, considering all the sandbag emplacements in the yard. And in the corner, I found the guy and shot him. Read a bit of radio chatter and the mission was complete.

Outro

While it contained a nice dialogue, I was totally at a loss to what it all meant. Maybe I should have read the name profiles a bit better.

Conclusion

A nice and short mission, with a impressive combined assault. Could have been a bit more challenging with less tanks, but it is ok and fun as is. Keep up the good work.

Cheers

Mathias

PROJECT BETA APPROVED

[Denz]

Package
The zip folder contained a readme, a copy of the overview picture and the mission pbo.

Overview
The overview picture was ok and gave the player a good idea of what could be expected on the defence line but I have to say I was really intrigued by the text.
Just what did this "one man" do?

Intro
When the officer, Zubarov was running the deccelerated camera effect caused the picture to be quite juddery. Otherwise it was good.

Briefing
The briefing was everything a briefing should be and it gave the player a good backstory to work with.
I thought the individual character reports on the russian officers was a really nice touch.
No weapons selection though.

Mission
While the AI squads took the direct approach, I led my men north to the high ground and then descended into the town thus bypassing the RACs main line of defence. Got involved in a couple of brief skirmishes with RACs soldiers moving up to the main point of contact which cost me one of my guys. Some machine guns located near the centre of the town caused me some problems as well as another two of my squad. With the remainder I continued stalking through the streets, taking out two enemy landrovers along the main road. Lost another man when I got caught in a crossfire between a RAC soldier near the defence line and a couple of soldiers near the far end of town. By this time I was also sporting a couple of wounds but was still fully functional but with only one of my squad remaining. I began working my way back towards the defences, clearing the buildings as I went. Moved into a courtyard and was met by a hail of lead from another entrance that cost me my last trooper and the use of my legs, but gave my sneaky assailant the old double tap in the chest. I was still crawling toward the centre of town when one of the AI squads accounted for Zubarov thus ending the mission.

Outro
Those dirty commie b######s. No seriously the outro was pretty cool and tied up the loose ends of the story.

Summary
I found this to be a really fun mission to play with a good story to boot. Although you could add a few more units, maybe close the open door I used.

edit: fixed the formatting

Project Beta Approved

[LeeHunt]

Project Betatest of Cheetah's Stop at Everon

Package

I agree with another betatester, could include the small addon in the package, but otherwise all good. 

Overview

Good.

Intro

I liked the Intro, the fog at the beginning was great atmosphere.  I wasn't totally sure of the story and the link between this officer, the civilians and the Royalists.  The officer running by the tree was also a bit messed up by the foliage intermittently blocking the camera.  The song was decent but got a little old after a while, maybe change up the sound?


Briefing

I like the individual bios in the briefing, a nice touch. 

Mission

Fantastic combined arms battle.  Miraculously i got all the way into Everon without getting killed, perhaps because in true officer fashion i let the other squads go in first with the T-72's.  Most of 'em got slaughtered and my squad adn I moved in slow and started picking off the Royalists coming in from the flanks. Those flank attacks were a good idea-- fortunately a lot of betatesting and playing has made me more paranoid (as i should be) about my flanks!  The charge with the other squads was also exciting, reminded me of that big assault mission that came with OFP.
I made it to a barn, dug in with my squad and fended off the counterattacks from the Royalists.  Fortunately they came piecemeal, though i needed half a dozen reloads before i moved on Zubarov's enclave.  The silenced rifleman was a good idea, provided a good ending challenge and got me killed twice.  I took a grenade launcher off a body and that helped immeasurably moving up on Zubarov.  He was well hidden behind those sandbags and that was cool.  He was the last person i got.

Debriefing
I liked the idea of carrying the traitor's "smelly remnants" away.  I was motivated by the intro and carnage to nail him!

Outro

Same suggestion as another tester on the "yourname?" function, but i appreciate the notice.  The credits were good, ofpec should be honored! 

Summary
Great short firefight with the right difficulty level (at least for me).  I think you should add some more voiceovers, tidy up a few things mentioned by myself and others, and release this one with advertising as a good combined arms action.

Project Beta Approved

[Cheetah]

Version 0.95 released!

The first half of the custom voices have been included. I'd like a few beta tests to see if this is fit for review.

[Gielovic]

Hey cheetah here's my opinion on Stop At Everon

Package
Good, contains all it needs, pic, readme and the addon

Overview
Nic, pic could be a bit bigger, btw. I don't understand the last words... (or not). After playing the mission I do not know the real reason for the attack (perhaps i should pay more attention to the story)

Intro
Great shots, basic camera moves but together with the nice music it makes a great intro. One moment you zoom in on the officer but he runs out of the screen and your still zooming, might take a look at that. The intro was a bit long so the next time i started the mission i skipped it. It's a good idea you didn't put any film in the mission itself ( i hate that, watching it over and over again).

Briefing
The link to Sgt Kaspov doesn't work.
I miss some equipment in the weapon-selection. First of all i miss binoculars and silenced pistols for my special forces squad. Also some grenadelaunchers would be cool for such a big assault.

Mission
The mission is even better than the intro. The base you created looks very realistic with dug in defences and stuff, impressive. The Sandbag-fix does its job because i got killed a lot in the action. The combined attack is a good idea although some airsupport to clear the guns would have been nice, instead of the T72's which dominate the battlefield if they survive. But your solution fits way better in the story you created (a mad commander who sends it's units almost on a suicide-mission to kill a deserter).
First time i started running west on the hill, suprisingly my sniper-rifle wasn't too handy because of the many bushes there. I got killed just before the shelter of the officer. Second-time i went straight to the village which made the mission even more fun. Shooting all around me, the SLA-units are firing their guns like madman (never saw AI fire so much and fast). The defenders are also shooting though so i have to try some times again. After the village was pretty clear i went to the house which i already have seen in the death-scene. Some grenades and a smokegrenade did their job and i killed all the units, including the officer (mission completed).

Outro
The outro really made little sence to me because i didn't remember all the names. Nice camerawork is all i can say

Summary
This was a short but fun mission. Pretty difficult in the beginning but after finishing the first line of defence it's not that difficult any more (which is okay). I think the mission would perfectly fit into a campaign because of the large background-story. The outro really made me curious to the next step in that campaign. Also it would be possible to get to know the other characters.
The half done voices were a bit annoying because i missed a lot of text which wasn't spoken. I know how difficult it is to get proper voice-acting for all the text, but in the final version 100% voices will be a big plus.
Also the weapon selection could be larger. We're loosing our tanks, why not take some expensive guns with us too...

Keep up the good work, great mission (and ignore my bad english)

[Cheetah]

Thanks gielovic, notes made.

As you say, this might be a mission part of a mini campaign. Haven't yet decided as there's more which I have to try out (gamestyles etc.). As you say, this is meant to be a rather short but enjoyable mission. Will definately add more weapons, you're correct in that the player might need more heavy equipement. Will change some of the default layouts too (add AT) to make sure that you have some way of disabling the tanks.

[bardosy]

Hi Cheetah,
I played with Stop at Everon twice.
First time, I made a round and attack behind the town. It was very simple. I found a stucked M113, but I killed the gunner with a scoped rifle and then there was no any enemy activity. All enemy KIA and I found easyly the office in the sandbad-system.
Is it true, without that addon, the AI soldiers never fire behing a sandbag? I made missions before and they fired strange, but fired...
One note: why my Espesas are green (recruit)? They behaved as a chicken, always lay down and run away...
Second time, I attack with the main force directly to the defence-line. I was interested the battle, what I left at first time. It was a great and intense battle with tanks! I died a few times and my men run away as a chikens, but finally I run throught the defenders and I found the officer in that garden, where first time.
So I noted the recruit specops again...

[Cheetah]

Thanks for the test bardosy, will try to reinforce the flanks of the enemy - they are indeed somewhat weak (as they're supposed to be, however here they are far too weak ).

About the addon, at close distances soldiers shoot over the sandbags with the addon. Without, they won't once the fighting gets too close as the sandbag is registered as a friendly unit. To avoid friendly fire - anyone hiding behind the wall won't shoot and won't get shot.

Will add the voiceovers (think that I have them all), and change some things / add some surprises for the hopefully final version .

[bardosy]

Cheetah, I read in an other topic, somebody have problem with PMs.... Did you get my PM, with the voiceover files for Stop at Everon?

[Cheetah]

Version 0.96 released!

With a complete voiceover, should be almost ready for release!
For download URLS, check the 1st post.

[Denz]

Just took another spin through this one- Version 0.96
Version 1.08, Veteran Difficulty

Intro
The camera on Zubarov running is now smoother

Briefing
A few typos but otherwise good. Link to Sgt. Kaspov bio still doesn't work
In the Mission Details instead of "neglect" ignore would sound better.
Zubarov's bio: batallion > battalion
Romanov's Bio:

don't expect a special treatment

any special treatment
Also, there isn't anyway to go back to the Mission Details after reading one of the biographies.

Gear selection
No binoculars but my new favourite East weapon the AK74 PSO compensated for that.
No RPGs but satchel charges which cranks up the difficulty a notch. I didn't see it as a problem though some might 
Otherwise it was fine.

Mission
Oh boy has this got tougher. Took me a couple of continues to complete it.
Took the highground and left an overwatch team on the highest part consisting of a machine gunner, a sniper with the KSVK and the medic - gotta look after the medic. Sniped a couple of enemy soldiers from up here including one of the vulcan gunners who were tearing the supporting AI squads to shreds. With my remaining team mates moved in on the objective from the rear. Fought off the flanking attacks of the Royalists before descending on the main courtyard. Took out the other Vulcan gunner and lost one of my squad to a sneaky RACs AT trooper. Not too much of a loss as I took his satchel charge to blow the last vulcan (used mine on the other). Noticed the T72 had got stuck out on the road before the town. Zubarov and his attending bodyguard went down to a grenade though I still shot the corpse of the lousy traitor - just for good measure you understand 
Mission complete. Score: 4300 Time: 21 minutes

typo in Debriefing: Zubatov

Summary
One great frantic firefight of a mission to play. No problems encountered 
Just some typos to fix and Kaspov's bio and I'd say it's good to go.

I do like the idea of this being part of a mini-campaign. Zubarov's story is an interesting one.

[Cheetah]

Thanks for the test Denz, will finish this one as soon as I find the time to do so (other stuff, including the tutorial, are in the way ).

[Cheetah]

v1.00 uploaded, ready for review!

[mathias_eichinger]

I`ll review this one!

Cheers

Mathias

[mathias_eichinger]

Review completed.

Feel free to share your opinion on this mission.